I’m ready to be someone else for a day

So quick update on my quest to be the Green Ranger. Unfortunately the costume won’t be here until November (whack), so I had to call the audible because my $35 costume has seen better days. I’m pretty excited for the alternative and I can’t wait to show it off. Hopefully it looks good on me.

There’s a certain level of self that to be reached before entering into anyone else’s life authentically. I documented this journey fairly well last year and the better part of this year. I always chuckle at this notion because it sounds pretentious as fuck, but there’s literally not wrong with me in regards to this. I most certainly have flaws and am very cognizant of my Achilles (all of them). My cup is full though. I’m willing to give and receive.

This is something that’s been solidified for me during this dating cycle. Successful dating is going to occur with people that have cups that are at least half-full. It’s not impossible with someone that’s got a lot going on, but damn if it’s not difficult. I found that out these past couple months as I’m currently in Operation: Slow Fade.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: there’s no such thing as “not having time.” We all chose what to make time for and everything that doesn’t make that cut, falls into this “not having time” thing. If I really want to do something, I make the time. I was doing so with kickboxing and archery for a while until I realized that the former was cutting into my mastery of the latter.

So I had to make a decision. There was definitely a time constraint, sure, but that’s because I wanted to do a handful of other things. I don’t like when people say they don’t have time for something because it’s cop out for taking responsibility for choices. I’m all about accountability and keeping the same energy.

So when the girl I was dating tells me “I’m booked, I don’t have time,” for nearly a month straight, but magically has time when I tell her I’m frustrated over this lapse, that phrase is dubious at best. I’d prefer to just not be in the mix at all if I can’ fit in her life. I’m not into being an obligation or a charity case. My feelings won’t be hurt if she’s decided I’m not a priority in any fashion. There’s nothing wrong with that. I just need her to be honest with herself.

Although, because I am over dating on the whole for now (deleting the apps as we speak), I’m not going to make a big hoopla about us going separate ways. I’m open to doing this thing, but I’m done making 85% of the moves. Ball’s in her court and I’ve done my due diligence.

I’m not particularly sad, lonely or any other negative word used for single people. I’m just mad comfortable existing on my own terms. Gone are those days and thoughts of thinking I needed a partner to validate what’s become of me. I’d love to meet someone awesome, but seeking that out right now is not the wave. Especially with the snow coming. It’s back to the Triple O (Optimistic, Open, & Observant) for potential honey dips until I feel like dealing with the rat race that is dating.

Honestly I think I’m just good on people right now. And I’m so happy there’s an album named after that sentiment. Bless you Spotify.