It’s been a very reflective few weeks for this guy and the recent Kavanaugh hearing was quite the doozy. I’m not going to bother extrapolating anything in regards to politics because frankly, I’m not that informed. But after watching that hearing there was something that really stood out to me: incredulity was the underlying theme.
I don’t know whether or not the sexual assault happened to Ford, but unlike a lot of people in that room, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. She didn’t have much, if anything to gain by exposing the man. Inconsolable guilt rots from the inside out and for her, I believe that was really the impetus. Again, not a politico, but these are the facts. My issue with this scenario and many like it is this automatic assumption that the victim is lying or somehow misinformed about the events.
To be frank, the assumption that women are not to be believed when shit like this goes down. And if I think about all the dumbass teenagers – past, future, and present – there’s bound to be some risque shit. That’s not to say all teenagers are sexual deviant with no regard for the well-being of others. But it is to say that young people do and will always do stupid shit.
That’s where adults come in to correct that and tell them that holding someone against their will to express any one-sided sexual desire is a big no-no. Make the accountability palpable enough and then this problem gets neutered before it starts doing real long-term damage to unsuspecting folks.
Another powerful aspect of this whole high-profile sexual assault hearing was listening to the fucked up stories by other women that were calling into C-SPAN with their accounts of being sexually assaulted. Beyond that, you had two camps of women: ones that buried the memories deep that resurfaced with this hearing and ones that are more conservative believing it was somehow their fault or a “misunderstanding.” And we wonder why women don’t immediately come forward about this shit.
I must quantify something though. I don’t believe women should be believed blindly and without reproach. I’ve yet to be in scenario where I’ve been accused of a sexual assault (I hope I never am), but innocent men shouldn’t become collateral for any of this. Benefit of the doubt should be given to the victim until there’s evidence that proves them to be on some bullshit.
Coming into a sexual assault accusation with a preconceived notion that the accuser is lying doesn’t do anyone favors and really discourages other women to come forward when these things happen. Not solely because it’s disappointing, but also because it’s scary. Retaliatory shit will happen as a result. So what’s easier to handle? A lifetime of intermittent trauma + PTSD or getting branded for life for speaking out against someone that violated your humanity?
There’s not a modicum of sanity in how victims are crucified in the face of potentially “ruining” powerful figures’ lives. Nevermind the fact that the accuser’s life was ruined as well. Interesting how years of therapy, night terrors, poor academic/professional performance and difficulty in maintaining intimate relationships is not in the same class of being “ruined” as losing out on being a Supreme Court Justice. That’s like me comparing not getting my dream job to someone whose life is permanent crippled from getting injured on the job. Zero equivalency.
Anyway, just had to get that one out because it’s bullshit and frankly I’m tired of these scenarios where someone thinks their account is more valid than another’s based on what their opposition isn’t. When y’all done colonizing that Earth-like planet, hit my line.