As you lovely people may know, dating has not be a focus for ya boy recently. Mainly because of the monumental task of “getting my shit together,” materially anyway. But I’ve largely been content flying solo per usual. That’s just my natural state, I can’t deny that. If some powerful entity came to me one day and said “Yo, you’re gonna be single forever,” I’d be like “Alright. I’m late for my appointment with a 5-course french toast dinner-breakfast, is that all?”
But life is funny and stepping out of my comfort zone into a onesie for a weekend has yielded some pretty sweet results. Results that ended with me spending about 10 hours with someone I was too shy and too drunk to talk to at first-sight. Yes friends, we went on date/hangout. I’m fuzzy on what to call the first meet-up when it comes to dating. I don’t like the connotation of “date.” Too many expectations initially. I think “hangout” is fine until I determine the cool-factor of person then it gets an upgrade. Which is weird, because in this case, we had already been texting back and forth. So, to me, she was already certified based on our conversations. Still kept it low-key though.
Conventional “dude” wisdom recommends to set a time and day for the “date” no more than 2-3 days ahead, otherwise the Flake Factor™ increases exponentially. But I generally don’t subscribe to any of these “best practices” if you will. So, when we agreed on Monday to get together on that Saturday, I didn’t think she’d flake because she was very responsive during the week. Plus, if you’re swapping pictures of food, geeking out over Black Mirror, and maintaining conversations a lot of people shy away from, there’s mutual interest. Let’s be real. And she’s aware of this blog. That’s the real test.
My go-to strategy for any first meetup is always low interaction yet very open-ended. Coffee, drinks, a walk a park, going to a gig at some bar etc. Something that can end timely if it needs to or extend as long as we both see fit. Sometimes I gotta get the hell out of dodge. Sometimes I want to spend the whole day and night with that person because the chemistry is there. And this goes both ways. I’m all about fairness and making sure everyone is comfortable. If I’m lame as shit (impossible), please tell me you gotta jet. Nothing worse than thinking I was getting somewhere then boom, ghosted. Just tell it like it is fam. I take “no” for an answer, trust me.
I’m not going to do a play-by-play, but after the initial awkwardness, we hit it off immediately. She’s a beautiful person inside and out, with the purest soul yet she has the capacity to mess with me. Which is great. Because as a cheeky cynical bastard with occasional good streaks and a dismissive personality, I need somebody to keep me in check from time to time. I seem to have been unsuccessful in scaring her off, if the second date this Friday is any indication. Must be losing my touch. Orrrr *gasp* I’m actually date-able. Madness, I say.
During our exploration of the immediately downtown area, we stumbled into a vintage store with standard vintage clothing, some of which was cool, some of which probably should have been donated. But I did come across some really nice leather gloves that I later bought and would have had a crispy hat from 60’s if I was committed to taking care of it (I wasn’t). I’m glad she was there to talk some reason into the air because I was going to do it. I’m sure I can come back for it at some point. Or just forget about it completely. Either way works. Although my favorite part of this excursion was her attention to the architecture of each building. I don’t think I’ve met someone that excited about building aesthetics, but it’s awesome and her excitement was contagious. Got me out here marveling at the craftsmanship of some pillars like I’m Michael-Angelo Jr. I dig it.
On that night, there were many highlights, but chief among them had to be when she invited me to a cigar bar. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but it was glorious. It’s been at least 4 or 5 years since I had one and she schooled me on some real shit. That’s the true sign of someone that wants you around: invitations to experiences. She could have easily said “Alright well I’m gonna go to this cigar bar, peace,” and I wouldn’t have faulted her at all. I’m owed nothing. But it was dope. Got to meet her brother and his homeboy, great and funny guys. I mean everybody present were fans of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I knew I was in good company. Rum and sugar-tipped cigars are my new favorite thing by the way.
We end up bar hopping for a bit with one of my favorite spots in the rotation which was cool. Definitely felt like their prices were raised, but I wasn’t too fussy about it. I was having a great time and didn’t really need to get drunk or super tipsy. Our last stop was this bar that looked like someone’s house. It was amazing. Also the spot where I played shuffleboard for the first time ever. Super fun. I always watched others play it, but actually pulling off some Matrix-level shit felt amazing. Plus I was talking some shit, but it was all in jest. On our side of the table, her and I were getting a little handsy. Well like 70% me. I mean it was reciprocated so I didn’t feel like I was invading her personal space, which is my #1 fear when it comes to this stuff. Plus, whatever cider they had on tap was A1… it was so good. Sucks we couldn’t play the hockey Foosball thing. Some other group was camping it all night, lame.
The night ended fairly PG at like 2am with a “we’re definitely seeing each other again” hug to which I had to squat a little because tall life. I generally try to keep things simple for the first parting. Easier that way. But yeah it was just weird, in a good way, how well everything went. Not that I was expecting shit to blow up in my face or for her to ditch me at random, but the invitation into someone’s life and space like that is a rarity with people these days. It’s much appreciated though. Vulnerability is a lost art in these modern times. God forbid you share your humanity with someone, regardless of the risk. I mean shit, asking her out was a risk, even though I knew the chances were likely she’d say yes. She could have easily told me to kick rocks. So, needless to say, I was very impressed and felt pretty connected to the whole thing.
Who knows what’s going to happen going forward. I don’t particularly want spoilers so, no crystal ball action for this guy. Usually I’m impatient and would want that Click remote to just see where this is all going. But I’m very interested in seeing if this buttercup blossoms…or wilts. Something tells me it’s the former. Or I’m so wrong I can’t even see it. Oh the possibilities.