Because 7, 8, 9

Well it’s been a little over a week in the Mid-West and so far so good. I feel like I’ve been here for months though. Everything’s a whirlwind in each aspect of life I care about. Nearly had an interview for each day of this week, the women out here are…interesting for lack of a better moniker. My friend says they’re retarded, but I think that’s a tad harsh. I’m going to say that a significant portion of them speak before they think. Things are falling into place though. I have to remember not to forget to parley with my family this Memorial Day weekend. My departure was slightly abrupt, but fortunately they all understand. Not everyone is fortunate to have such a baller support system like I do so I’m eternally grateful for that.

Speaking of which, let us recap the past three days. Not much went down on Wednesday outside of me being a waste of space. I did get a few more calls, but they were in the same vein of bullshit that the other pyramid schemes were. Well all but the one position that I took a million assessment tests for. I actually thought I was fucked because I sent that email about the 80%-90% discrepancy. To my great surprise I was scheduled for an in-person interview for the following day (better had). So that was cool. I did get back into the Witcher card game Gwent so I’ve been addicted to it, as much as I don’t want to admit it. Just something to pass the time really. Oh, the clowns at Wendy’s fucked up our order completely and essentially had my best friend raging when he got back after the correction. I will say that the service here in Michigan leaves a lot to be desired. There’s been a lot of instances were they’re just really really derp. And if you deviate or ask for anything outside of the menu’s parameters you might see smoke coming from the top of their heads.

Thursday was the actual interview, to which I arrived 4 hours early due to the carpool situation. It was fine; I just holed up at Starbucks until then. I hit up a certain someone to see if she was down to chill before her shift in the same building. Unfortunately, she went in earlier than I anticipated. I mean if she really was keen on hanging out she would have swung by for a cool half hour or something, but I imagine she had just woken up. Sleep is life after all. The funniest part was when I went down to the food court, through the ungodly labyrinth of that corporate center, in search of food. I thought I had saw her having lunch with somebody and got irrationally irritated. Of course I play it off until I could get a better view of such a transgression. I take my food to an adjacent table only to find out that it was but a doppelganger. I felt pretty stupid, but it was hilarious nonetheless. I was pretty close to calling her on her imaginary bullshit and looking like a bigger idiot than usual. Somebody out there lookin’ out for a brotha.

The interview itself went smoothly. In comparison to the online tests, it was cake. Hell, going to the actual location was harder. I had enough foresight to get my visitor’s pass before a crazy rush of people, but that also meant I had about 30 minutes to kill. About 10 minutes before the interview I figure to head up the 7th floor where it was going down. So there’s these turnstiles that open via access card or visitor pass barcode (I found out later). So I’m sitting here trying to eyeball how people are getting in. Professional folks have the access cards and put it on the top sensor, cool. I saunter up to the turnstile, in my business casual attire, slap that pristine visitor’s pass down and nothing. Not to mention there’s a cute girl waiting on the opposite looking at me like I’m the special kid trying to stick the round shape in the square hole. There was no playing this off. So I start rubbing my pass on the bottom sensors…nothing. What the hell man. I try my hardest not to make eye contact because there just way too much shame going on.

It’s about 5 minutes to interview time and I’m slightly panicking. The front desk lady did say somebody would come down and escort me, but ain’t nobody got time for that. So I follow a dude through the turnstile while waving my useless barcode paper at the sensor. I say fuck it and keep following the guy and guess what? Alarms go off. Great. Again, I try to play it off, but there’s no playing off blaring alarms. A random professional white lady behind me understood the struggle though. She mentioned that the visitor passes are finicky and that I was good to go. Black man + alarms + a bunch of white people = dicey scenario. Anyway, I get in the elevator and head up to the 7th floor only to discover the office is door is also locked. This just keeps getting better and better. Some lady was coming out and I slid right into the office, only to realize my grave mistake. What if my interviewer went down to get me? I hug the wall and try to remain hidden while I figure out my next course of action. There was a conference room next to me with a couple people in it. I slowly approach and they greet me asking if I was here for the interview. Apparently this was to be a 3 person interview and 1 of them was now trying to figure out where I went. Classic.

So that was Thursday and today as I’m typing away has been relatively chill. I did get a lay of the land via Tinder and the prospects are looking pretty nice. Can’t stand the app, but it’s great for recon. I’m not gonna touch dating until I’m set up. Like Daz Dillinger and Kurupt, I don’t like to dream about getting paid.