Well, this has been a day and particular contents of said day shall be elaborated after I’ve finished processing what’s happened. Foreshadowing (I got shutdown). Anyway, the majority of today was dope. I found myself a part of some good old family fun via tennis. It was weird to be present in a nuclear family scenario, it’s been a while honestly. My parents only get together when co-parenting demands it so for the past 10ish years, it’s been damn rare that all four of us get together for activities that don’t involve graduations or interventions. But today was especially cool because it further solidified that moms is truly happy with my (soon-to-be) step-dad.
I’m genuinely ecstatic that she’s elated to be with this man and to his credit, he’s pretty awesome. Though like anything else, it took time for her to get to that point and him to get to that point where things were gonna work out. It’s important for both me and my sister to see this in action, maybe more so me, because it’s veritable proof that relationships are skills, not states. And both parties have to be ready, ain’t no half steppin’. I might get a first row seat to this scenario in the coming months, so I can’t lie. I’m quite intrigued for what’s going to happen between now and August.
But yeah tennis happened and mom ended up having a slight spill (she’s fine), but it wasn’t without it being on video. As she was on the ground, laughing out of embarrassment, step-dad runs up to film her while I’m being the only adult asking her if she was okay, albeit through a smirk. The whole scenario was surreal. I’m over being MVP ball boy then all I heard was “Aiyyyeeeee!” I whip around to see moms complete gravity’s decree. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her fall ever. Slip and almost fall, sure, but never butt-to-ground. So that was weird. Despite all of this commotion, it was all good and fun. Stepdad was teasing her throughout the session, but truth be told he was a misstep away from eating his own words. They both can’t be out of commission though. Somebody gotta be able-bodied up in here.
Throughout this whole exchange I started to remember how things used to be when I was kid and what a difference it all was. The genuine jovial air and vibes that permeated every nook of the court today was in very short supply when my parents were “together.” Always punctuated by some unspoken wisps of resent or secrecy. But on that tennis court, you couldn’t get a purer scene of true happiness. What a disparity. But yeah I’m just so happy for her, forgive my lack of vocabulary. It’s the only phrase that truly expresses how I feel about their relationship. Seeing someone deal with the same person, who you know has the capacity to be a good partner yet refuses for nondescript reasons, is pretty infuriating and depressing. I know I’ve mentioned this on multiple occasions, but for years as a youth I wished my parents were married. I thought that was the key to attaining that happy little family I envied at parent-teacher conferences. I’m so glad that never happened. You couldn’t get more opposite than my parentals.
They’ve since moved on from each other (pretty ridiculous stories in their own right) and now are with their respective mates. I personally think mom is in a healthier and much more authentic relationship, but that just speaks to why my parents couldn’t ever be together. But I digress. Well not really. I recall mentioning a story about how I was at the ER with step-pops and moms so he could get his wound looked at. The point where I realized that this man was about us was when he told the security guard: “Ay man, make sure my woman and my son are okay when I come back out here. Otherwise we gon have some problems.” I didn’t even realize he called me “son” until like a day or so later, I think I was already feeling that way prior. Contrast that to my stepmom where conversation is often awkward and very forced. Prolly because I knew she was like the 4th string woman during her pursuit of my dad. I dunno it’s just weird as fuck trying to have a conversation with that woman, but the rest of her family is normal. So who knows. Point is, I’m happy for moms; so, so happy for moms and I can’t wait til step-pops seals the deal.
Sometimes I feel like I’m being unfair to my own dad, but he’s got a rap-sheet as to why things are the way they are and I’ve no ill feelings toward him. I just know the score and prefer not to try again to delve deeper into a relationship that doesn’t require that. Plus we’re just so different and literally have 0 in common. I believe step-pops is filling that void that’s been present for a very long time in the form of emotional male bonding and support. Just generally being a bro and hooking it up without it being contractual. I don’t have to worry about owing him or feel guilty for accepting his help. There’s no tab for his investment into me. And it’s not like I’m one to ask for help unless my throat is slit (I got skills okay). More than anything, my step-dad understands that I’m, against the chagrin of some extroverted characters, a very sensitive and cerebral creature. Poking, prodding, disturbing, and prying into me only makes me clamp harder. All things my own dad prided himself on. Getting interrogated as to why I’m so quiet, why I’m not like X Y Z, and why I don’t speak more than a couple sentences at a time to him set in motion events that could not be reversed.
All in all, I’m excited for mom and step-dad’s future, what that entails. If the housing situation becomes conducive for me, you better believe I’m gonna be claiming a room up in their new crib. It’s funny, I’m sitting here in my Meat Wad t-shirt from 15 years ago (I was a chunky kid) feeling the same way I did when I brought it home. Elated and disappointed at the same time. For much different reasons now than then, but the emotions are definitely time travelling. Life is a cold game, it’s a wonder how we all stay sane.