Dying to feel alive for $300 Alex

It’s been a while since my last rant and that’s because I got fucked by a lovely stream of pathogens that thought it be would awesome to annex my sinuses for their purposes. Purposes of pain, sleeplessness, discomfort, and thoughts of suicide. A delicious cornucopia of fuck me. Now my white blood cells are well on their way to destroying these invaders and helping me not feel like literal shit. I’ll spare the details, but suffice to say I empathize with all of those who deal with sinus madness on the regular. As a first timer, I can’t imagine this bullshit being a constant in my daily routine. Y’all definitely keeping Benadryl, Sudafed, and <insert allergy/sinus medication> in business.

I have to get better before this week is out. Can’t be spitting game and my organs at the same time. Not a good look at all. Tryna mack on a fine female specimen with a roll of tissue in my back pocket talking about “Girl I need these tissues cuz ya got a brotha in tears with alladat!” (dry). But yeah being incapacitated was a net positive outside of the physical pain in that it forced me to slow down. I had to focus on the micro instead of the macro, which is my default setting. First goal was not dying and getting better. Everything else after that was an ethereal maybe. Sometimes I forgo my health to get shit done and I know it’s bad, but I’m all about them results baybeeee. Results won’t matter if I’m not able to enjoy them though so I think I learned my lesson on that front.

Anyway, onward to the point of this post outside of self-pity: settling.

Yes, I went there, don’t look surprised. Actually I haven’t gone anywhere yet, for this journey’s just beginning my pretties. Now settling isn’t inherently negative from an objective standpoint. It’s a calculated decision based on risk factors and articles of comfort one is okay with sacrificing/gaining. It’s like gambling in life. You could try and get with Rosario Dawson by making Eric Andre die in freak accident that clearly doesn’t involve you or any accomplices that are great at making people disappear (me) or you can just get a Great Value version of Rosario in the toothpaste aisle at Target by complimenting that woman’s pearly whites. Personally I’m fond of simplicity so Hannibal Buress might have to find a new best friend. He’ll be fine.

Settling isn’t completely reserved to romantic endeavors though. One can settle in just about everything in life. And the advent of settling carries a negative stereotype which is weird because it’s one of the most rational things you can do as human being. Or stupidest, depends on how much of a bitch you are in the grand scheme of things. I kid…well not really. People settle all the god damn time. Settling for that lateral promotion instead of the full tier promotion for fear of being rejected or upsetting some coworkers. Settling for strawberry jam when McDonald’s tries my patience by claiming not to have grape (I see the box behind you). Settling for the 2016 model of a car instead of getting the 2017, which is identical anyway (just lie). Settling on naming a child Chad instead of Zultan the Destroyer because it won’t fit on his SS card. I mean the list goes on. We’re constantly making choices and decisions that occasionally can be considered settling based on the circumstance.

But why is it seen in such a negative light in regards to relationships and professional careers?

“You can do so much better than that.”

People that say this mean well, but often lack the foresight to understand the situation at hand. It’s sort of patronizing in a way. As though the person just didn’t know any better and picked whatever they picked at the spin of a bottle. More often than not, people know when they’ve fucked up. So making a calculated decision against the odds of “doing better” is now seen as a bad choice. I can see the validity for both sides of this argument. Some people are lazy and really don’t want to do the work to get the best out of life for a myriad of reasons. Fine I’ll grant that. But sometimes what you got is good enough and as a subscriber to sticking with things that work until they don’t, I have to acknowledge this.

Then you have the flipside, which I’m often victim to, wanting what you want despite the odds. Then realizing later after drinking some hindsight tea that I probably should have just stuck with whatever I had going because now I’m assed out completely. Or in some cases off much worse than the alleged settling. But life is a mashup of calculated and a lot of miscalculated risks. That what makes things entertaining for the most part. Going for crazy shit that has a one-in-ten chance of working then succeeding? Best feeling in the world honestly.

So what’s the significance of settling on a grander scale? It’s a personal litmus for one’s life. Settling can only be seen as good or bad in the context of a situation. How do I to determine if settling is good or bad for me personally? I dunno. It’s more of a “how much better would Y be in comparison to X?” Then an assessment of the effort I’d have to exert to obtain Y and maintain X. Then I’d prolly take a nap and stick with X anyway.