Data and Destiny for $300 Alex

Tonight was the first time in 4 years that I’ve been in a classroom setting. And I felt right at home. No surprise considering I was born in college technically. Everything played out exactly as it did all those years ago. I sat in the middle of the classroom, observed somebody playing Mafia Wars on their computer, and 4 people (including me) were the only ones out of 25 that asked questions. Oh academia, don’t you ever change. The class itself, Intro to Data Analytics, was eye opening for a multitude of reasons and the crowning moment was when I actually got in the Lyft. I’ve been meaning to attend this free class provided by General Assembly for a while, but this time I said fuck it and I followed through. Felt amazing.

I have a knack for finding fellow gamers and having great Lyft drivers. Seriously, it’s kind of scary. Well barring the Oompa Loopa that nearly killed us while driving back home, I’m pretty lucky with my Lyfties (I call them Lyfties, deal with it). Anyway, after a riveting conversation with my aspiring actor driver, I got put on to the more technical side of marketing: data and the analysis therein. On paper data analytics sounds like a “fuck you” to anybody without a statistics or math background. As my instructor put it: “If you’re good with Excel you’ll be fine learning MYSQL and understanding how data gets imported.” So seeing that, on a very basic level, SQL and other data aggregation tools were permutations of Excel spreadsheets made me pretty excited.

As the class went on and the instructor kept going deeper into the data game, I started feeling that I found the missing piece to my professional puzzle. Data Analysts hangout with spreadsheets and formulate reports using acronyms used in reports tailored to fat cat executives with the attention span of a goldfish. Substitute unintelligible writing, jargon, and shitty procedural outlines then you’ll have copywriting in  nutshell. Data stuffs is totally me. Clearly it’s not that simple, but my experience thus far is totally in line with what these data nerds do and they make three times the average salary of a copywriter so what am I really doing with my life? And it’s a high demand, unsaturated market? Sign me the fuck up. Yesterday bro, let’s go.

The crazier part, outside of the yacht buying potential afforded to me, is that homeboy works for Fandango. Fandango is owned by NBC-Universal, where my uncle works as a Senior Programmer. On top of this, my instructor’s wife is a copywriter (like moi) for an unspecified gaming company. If this ain’t a sign that I need to jump on the data train, I don’t know what is. Some would call it destiny, some would call it happenstance. All I know is if this pans out, ya boy will be living large. But that’s how life works. Shit always happens when you just get out there in the world and do stuff. Whatever it is.

So I’m gonna bribe homeboy with some free coffee and get my networking on. He was boasting lowkey about how he’s set up over forty people with good jobs so we’ll put his money where his mouth is. Even if nothing comes out of this encounter, it just feels good  to get out there and take the initiative with this ball of events. I’ve resolved to get shit done this year and frankly it feels good to see the results. No more moping around. Starting up ye olde Insanity training again (I’m dead). Hell, I might even have a big boy job by the end of the month if all goes smoothly. I hate saying this because I say it to placate the existential dread, but things are falling into place…again. Maybe I’m speaking too soon and jinxing myself. Who cares. I feel great and things are great and I’m getting play out here. I can’t be salty about anything for next couple days at least.

As I was riding back, I recalled that my will was on my computer. This fucking midget could not drive, my word. Anyway, as I was contemplating what you all might find on my computer after I died in a fiery crash on the 10 freeway, I realized that DTLA is the shit. I mean gentrification, seedy homeless folks, and pot-hole ridden streets aside, it’s pretty dope. I’ve yet to really get down to the nitty gritty in exploring this crazy-ass city, but I got some plans in the works. Might even make an advent calendar for it. With all that’s happening recently, I might be exploring more of DTLA sooner than later. How people live there is beyond me, but maybe that’s because I’m a misanthrope through and through. Or at least I pretend to be.